Headspace

The ones who don't do anything are always the ones who try to put you down

-Henry Rollins

I'm worried, i'm afraid

that what i'm doing, what I believe in

will not only be wrong

but leave me lost and broken

I've researched and bullshitted

and hoped and worked to find

others that could prove that there is something

bigger than what's expected of me

I hate mundane repetition

I hate buying shit, being bored

and belittling myself so others will

smile at me. Human connection is wonderful

only if its true, deep, and naked

I open myself, i try and pry the doors apart

and let some light out, to show people

what's really inside

and its fucking hard

its tough to be honest, its painful to tell the truth

There's always the suspicion that the advice

I'm given is passive aggressive manipulation

sugar coated and sealed with a kiss

to hide others own shortcomings

and fears. I'm tired of agreeing with people

just for the sake of commerce

so I can go about my day.

Its nauseating to smile at people I call my friends

and agree with their bigotry, their insecurities

to not scream at the top of my lungs

tell the goddamn truth

if you do not like me, i'd be happy to

recoil into my room. At least i'm myself here

How can a motherfucker grow with so

little headspace and everyone trying to

turn the lights off?