Mud

I'm on a quest for purity

for something tangible

that won't slip through my fingers

as soon as i get a good glimpse of it

and without anytime to feel its texture

its a constant reduction to the unbreakable

to try and sift through all the unnecessary

add ons and baggage. I just want the diamond

--or at least the coal so I can crush it into something

I feel dirtied, directionless

lost at a four way stop

with each perspective staring

dead on a red light. Goin' Nowhere.

So many choices, so little value in each.

Is happiness a game? Is it a perspective itself?

A change of seats

if you will

to get a clearer look at the stage?

Or is it being quite fine with where you are

seated now?

Shouldn't we revel in the madness, the chaotic mess?

To embrace every thought and emotion!

These questions are over our heads, rhetorical, and this is

the biggest trouble I have. What is rhetoric and what is truth?

I'm bombarded with claims to both; they are justified both my experience

and emotion. Anger, Joy, Love, Hate, Authenticity, Acting, Fear, Strength.

I'm uninterested in the happiness written in books, its so...boring.

Joy is best in small segments, anger when appropriate, and happiness

when left with one's thoughts.

Everyone has some advice, insight, tidbit of knowledge.

But where did they get it from? Did we read the same Wikipedia page?

Or is it real, deep, rooted, and earnest .

I'm looking for purity, but only walk away filthy.