The Joke

I used to care about things
but that passed
now i take my time watching as everything
just moves on by
as if I were a street sign
taking it all and serving a minute purpose
i used to hate people
i used to love people
now they just wander passed, throwing me signs
smiles and frowns
I used to think
I used to worry
Now all the clouds and highways of words and images
passing through my head are as distant
and disconnected as the floor boards beneath my feet
There used to be hope
there used to be despair
no more do I bother with these martyrs
i have been so close to death that birth stared me in the face
feeling and end and beginning converge into something
no poem song scripture or revelation could
ever even touch upon
I used to write
I used to read
the ideas of drunkards and geniuses used to
evoke feelings of life as an infinite well
to be tapped into whenever needed
There used to be an image to me
used to be a person behind these eyes
now I am not the ground I walk
nor the words I say
I used to be a joke
but now I realize
the joke is on all of us.